


It Will Be Me Before It’s You (And Thats Okay)

by Lazy_days_88



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Army lexa, Caregiver, Carer Clarke, Disabled Lexa, F/F, F/M, Marine Lexa, Me Before You - Freeform, PTSD, Paralised Lexa, Paralysis, carer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25518769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazy_days_88/pseuds/Lazy_days_88
Summary: Hello! If you're reading this, and you’re waiting for a new chapter, go check out my other stories! 2 fully written linked books in a series! Give it a shot!
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Raven/Luna
Comments: 10
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! If you're reading this, and you’re waiting for a new chapter, go check out my other stories! 2 fully written linked books in a series! Give it a shot!

Clarke propped herself up on her elbow as she watched her best friend prance across their apartment, a gleeful smile painted across her face. Raven had just recently been engaged to a woman named Luna, and Clarke had never seen her so _happy_. Even when she had known Raven most of her life, this was something new.

Her face shone with joy. Each and every movement was filled with a determination and purpose which could only be given by real love. And that was something that Clarke had craved. She craved to find the perfect person to love. And yet it seemed that for her, there was no hope for her and her future...

Other than the future she currently had with the pizza slice in her hand. She hadn't had a job for months, her love life was nearing a non-existent level, and soon enough, she was going to have to find a new place to stay. Or find another roommate. After all, Raven was planning to move in with her new fiancé soon, even though they had only been dating for a couple of months.

"So" Raven exaggerated the single word as she lowered herself onto the couch beside the blonde "I spoke to Luna."

Clarke laughed through the cheese of her pizza "When don't you talk to Luna?"

The mechanic wrapped her arms around the soft pillow of their couch, her new ring sparkling in the digital light of the television "You know when" she winked.

"That's disgusting, Raven"

"You asked" Raven propped her legs up to rest them over Clarke's "But anyways, we talked about your little issue with finding a job."

"Raven, I already told you. I don't want a job at your weird tech company. I won't be any good. Seriously I won't."

"Woah, woah, woah" Raven waved her hands in front of Clarke's face to silence her "That was not where I was going with that. Would you let me finish?"

Clarke rolled her eyes "Fine"

"You remember how Luna was in the army, right?"

"Yes I've heard you mention it many times, Raven. Where are you going with this, anyway? Do you want me to join the army or something?" Clarke scoffed "that will never happen."

"No! Jesus Clarke could you just listen? For one second?" The other girl reached across to clasp a hand over Clarke's mouth to silence her "Anyways! Luna knew someone. Someone ranked high in the army or something."

"What's your point?" Clarke slapped away Raven's hand

"My point is that this girl she knew was injured. I mean, she was really injured. So injured to the point where her sister is looking for help to look after her."

"So she's looking for a carer?"

"Indeed she is. The sister literally can't deal with taking care of her alone. And now, I know how much you enjoy helping people, Clarke. It's in your blood. Your mom's a doctor and you worked as a carer for a couple of years before you-"

"Before I lost my job?" Clarke cut her off.

The truth was, she was enraged that she was fired. After all, it wasn't even her fault. She had worked as a carer for a young girl named Madi for over two years. Her brother, however, was Clarke's age. He had long but beautifully groomed hair, warm brown eyes and a charming smile. The boy, Finn, had made countless attempts to flirt with her. And yes, he was handsome, but for Clarke, no matter how much he forced his bright smile, it didn't work on her.

So one day, when she came in to take care of Madi, she had been delivered the news that she was in fact fired. It turned out that Finn truly didn't know how to handle rejection.

"Yes, before you lost your job" Raven sighed "but the point is, I really think this job could benefit you. No more working in a different cafe every month and serving cold coffee to old businessmen with grey hair and a load of wrinkles. You get to do what you enjoy doing."

Clarke hummed as she rolled herself off of the couch. She snatched a cup from the shelf, filling it with cool water "and the pay?"

"They're loaded Clarke. I bet that if you do a good job, they'll pay big bucks"

"To be honest, I need the money..."

"Uhh... yeah? You do. No offence blondie but you're not going to be sleeping in mine and Luna's bed. I couldn't take all the hair you two cast." The mechanic grinned

"Oh shut up" Clarke said, hiding her smile behind her turned back "So... whats this soldier's name anyways?"

"I'm not sure. Luna mentioned them as the Woods family, but that's all I know" Raven shrugged.

"Lexa" Said a voice at the door. The sudden sound of Ravens bounding feet told Clarke that the voice was in fact Luna.

"You have to learn to stop sneaking up on me like that" Raven said sweetly. The blonde internally gagged.

"So... Lexa?"

"Yes, Lexa Woods. She's snappy and informal but she's a good woman. An even better soldier" Luna spoke as she settled down on the couch with Raven, nudging the pizza box onto the floor to make room.

"Sounds fun" Mumbled Clarke sarcastically

"Great, I'll give her sister a call right now then!" Luna stated, taking her phone from her pocket.

"Luna wait-"

"Hello? Is that Mrs Woods?" Luna questioned, and after a response, continued "Hello there, I used to work with your sister. I believe I know somebody who could help a great amount with caring for her."

"And here I was thinking of getting an office job..." Clarke mumbled to herself

"Monday? Perfect. I'll set her up and make her look nice and pretty for you. Yes, yes. Yes I am aware. Thank you. Bye bye, now"

"Pretty for her?" Clarke exclaimed, placing her now drained glass of water on the table with a great amount of force.

"Well you're not going to an interview dressed like that, are you? Especially since these guys are on the more wealthier side..." Clarke swept her eyes down her attire. Luna was probably right. Sweatpants and a pizza stained grey t shirt might not make the cut for an interview.

"Alright fine I'll let you off" Clarke rolled her eyes

___________________

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"So, when was the last time you saw an erect penis Miss Griffin?"

Clarke almost leapt to her feet at the too sudden, and rather too loud, question for a coffee shop. She grabbed into her tea cup, after almost sending it flying off the table.

"Octavia!" She exclaimed, attempting to ignore he ghastly looks casted her way by the elderly couple on the table beside her "you can't just say things like that!"

"I didn't say, I asked" Octavia grinned "if you stay this frigid forever, Clarke, and you'll be evolving backwards into a virgin once more!"

"You're actually ridiculous" Clarke murmured, attempting to shield her face from the now horrified couple beside her with a strategically placed hand.

"Come on, Clarke. How longs it been?"

"Honestly? I don't really care..."

"I do! My best friends gotta get some meat.... hit that big 'O' riding the 'D' you know what I'm saying?"

The couple had finally had enough, and stood up, murmuring a frustrated "disgraceful" before leaving, the bell above the shop door chiming. Clarke rammed her face into her palms, covering pink flushed cheeks.

"What if I wasn't looking for dick, Octavia?"

Octavia gasped "So you're looking for pussy!?"

"O!" Clarke exclaimed as more heads turned her way "I'm not looking! The only thing I'm looking for right now is a job. I've got an interview on Monday."

"Ooo... what, another job being a little waitress for old objectifying white businessmen?"

"No actually..." Clarke scratched her neck "it's more of a careers job. I'm meant to be caring for a veteran..."

"A veteran?! We like a man in uniform don't we?"

"No. There is no difference. And for the record, it's a woman."

"Now this is getting interesting!" Octavia sat forward in her chair "what happened?"

"I don't know, O. And I don't think I want to ask. People who have been through things like that don't really enjoy discussing it all that much. And honestly, I respect that. The less I know the better most likely. All I have to do is keep her fed and tidy and we're happy."

"You think it was bad...?"

Clarke sighed "Octavia, if she needs care, it must have been."

"Hmm. Something seems fishy about this entire ordeal, Clarke"

"Why? Because she's a veteran injured at war and needs care?" Clarke frowned

"I mean, no. Not what I meant. What suddenly made you so desperate so desperate to go back into caring?"

The blonde shrugged "I guessed it was time to put all the stuff that happened in the past behind me. Her sister seems to really need the help, and-"

"Is the pay good?"

"And I think they might pay pretty well I suppose"

"Brilliant! You're helping me pay for some strippers for my birthday then!" Octavia laughed.

"Don't you just want to go out somewhere like you did last time?"

"Yeah but I feel like blessing Luna and Raven's new lesbian household with some manly strippers might be the highlight of all birthdays..." she grinned

"You're ridiculous sometimes, you know that?" Clarke raised an eyebrow

"Oh I know, don't worry. That's why we're friends!" She laughed "We've gotta relate on something!"

"Oh shut the fuck up, Octavia. I'm the most normal out of all of us!"

"No. Bell is."

"What's normal about being a cop? Literally everyone hates you and you give out annoying speed tickets. All the time. Constantly"

"Clarke! Just because he gave you a speed ticket once doesn't mean everyone hates cops..."

"That wasn't my reason..."

"Sure..."

"I'm serious it wasn't my-" Clarke gave up on the conversation, tugging at her coffee and taking a long sip. She loved Octavia, but their conversations often tested her patience...

"I love you, Griffin"

"I love you too, O"

"And the strippers?"

"Oh my god, I'm not paying."

There was a pause "but I'm allowed them?"

Clarke grinned "it sounds like it could be a fun idea"


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh no you don't, Clarke Griffin!" Ravens voice echoed around the apartment.

Footsteps bounded throughout, signifying a long chase. Luna lifted the apple to her lips and bit down, holding out the tv remote in her other hand and changing the channel. She kicked her feet up on the coffee table with a sigh, rapidly pressing the volume button so she could hear over the shenanigans. She rather quickly found a show about baseball bats are made.

"Clarke can you just stay still?" Raven screamed

"I am not wearing that shit, Raven!"

Luna rolled her head back, knowing fine well she was going to have one of the worst headaches of her life once this was over.

"Yes you are!"

Listening, Luna heard the scuffling and thuds that's signified Raven getting her own way, and shortly, out stormed Clarke. Her hair was tangled and messy from her spats, however the rest of her outfit appeared to be tidy. She wore a tight, professional skirt, and a button up blouse.

"I look like I'm going to beg my teacher for better grades" Clarke murmured,pouring herself a glass of water. Luna laughed from the couch as Raven came down the stairs.

"Which is a good thing. Now hurry up and come here, I need to do your hair"

"I can do it myself"

"But I want to do it!"

Luna felt like throwing herself from the nearest window. She checked her watch.

"You literally have ten minutes before you have to leave, so can once of you please just decide. I'm trying to watch tv"

"Oh god I'm doomed" Clarke grumbled, snatching a hairbrush from the side table and raking it through her matted hair "come on, come on, come on"

"You're going to miss the bus Clarke..."

"Oh my god shut it!" She exclaimed, grabbing her bag and sprinting to the door.

She swung the door closed and trotted as quickly as she could down the steps in her heels, wafting her hand at the bus driver as he drove past. He seemed to glance at her, and then slowed down at the stop just down the street. She thanked her luck as she ran down the path, heels clicking loudly as she hoped over cracks in the pavement.

________________

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The bus was almost empty once Clarke finally reached her stop. The annoying child who had sat next to her the entire journey, jabbing her in the side with his crayons and blowing spit bubbles had gotten off on the stop before her. She was thankful for the 5 minutes of peace before her own stop.

She grabbed her bag from between her feet and scuttled down to the front of the bus, hopping out the door after thanking the driver. She clutched the bag tight to her chest, nervous at the foreign surroundings as she wondered down through the streets of a rather rich and grand street.

The air was laced with the scent of roses from the large gardens that showed most of the colour in the area- the only other colours being the expensive cars that lined the driveways. The paving stones below her feet were even, not a single one dipping to make a jagged edge in the path. It was smooth and well taken care of. Clarke soaked in every step she took as she walked on the path, such a thing was a luxury where she was raised.

She came across a driveway that seemed to be even more pristine than the rest- as if it was rarely used. It was devoid of super cars and expensive off-reading vehicles. The garage doors were closed. The entirety of the houses front was empty, accept for a small grey and worn Toyota parked near the door. Glancing up at the house number above the grand entrance, she realised that this was her destination.

"Couldn't at least have one lambo?" She muttered, reaching into her bag to grab her hand sanitiser.

She could never be too clean these days- she was acting as if she could pass a virus to whoever she was going to be meeting. She sighed at herself as she stuffed the small bottle back in her bag. She was now panicking.

Pausing for a few moments, she reached up and rapped her knuckles on the door. She took a few steps back and fixed her shirt, straightening her back. After all, first impressions right?

She stood, a little longer than she expected to. Eventually, she slumped, not being bothered to hold such a tight breathed posture for so long, huffing out a massive sigh. As she emptied her lungs, the door swung open.

"Well, I'm supposing if the job is that exhausting for you already it's not the right one for you" The door slammed in her face.

Her mouth dropped agape and she stared at the closed door in shock. She hadn't even gotten the time to lift her eyes to the woman before she was already rejected.

She was just about to turn and head back to her dismal bus stop when the door opened again.

"I apologise for her behaviour. Please know that she is not the woman who may be in your care" deep brown eyes stared into Clarkes soul, her warm but firm voice definitely installing a motherly comfort in her straight away. Her hair was so perfectly shaped, and her skin seemed to radiate 'expensive skin care'. Clarke could only guess that this was the woman who owned the house "Please, do come in. My name is Indra"

As Indra stepped to the side, Clarke could only stare in awe. The hallways were pearly white, not a single scuff in the paint in the walls. Artwork hung, lights above them to show their true beauty in its purest form.

"Your home is beautiful, Mrs..." Clarke whispered as she stepped inside. She removed her coat and tucked it below her arm.

"Woods. Please, keep your shoes on. That's far too much hassle for you for an interview"

"Thank you" Clarke smiled, and it was returned.

"As you may have so quickly met, this is Anya- my other daughter. She has quite the grumpy temperament. I am of course Alexandria's mother. Herself and her things are on the top floor of the house, follow me"

Clarke began to follow the stern looking woman through the many corridors of the brightly lit home "The top floor?"

"Third floor, yes. We had the attic expanded into the third floor, to have a sort of second floor to our third floor. I'm sure you'll understand when you see. She loves the view up there." They began climbing the luxurious stairs, draped in rich carpets.

"And... she was injured?"

Indra stopped outside of a beautifully carved wooden door, palm pressed to the handle "I would be ever so grateful if you did not question her about such a thing. My daughter does not enjoy the memory of how her condition came to, nor discussing it."

"I understand ma'am, my apologies" Clarke whispered, intimidated by Indra's sudden firm voice

"Why are you here, Miss Griffin?"

Clarke felt frozen to the spot. These were the kinds of questions that a wrong answer would doom you for the rest of the interview. She gulped.

"I used to work as a carer. I have plenty of experience and I'd rather someone cared for this woman who knew what they were doing as a medical professional, rather than leaving it to her family"

Indra stared straight through her "And?"

"And I... really need the money Mrs Woods" Clarke sighed

"Honesty is key Miss Griffin. Please, follow me. I'll introduce you to my daughter" Indra smiles and twisted the handle.

Clarke expected the old looking door to creak, as it appeared to have been so worn. Scratch marks covered the door frame at waist height, as if something had been passing through. The same went for the scuff marks on the floor.

"Now, usually she has a health care professional come in every morning and night to bathe her, dress her, those sort of things, so you won't have to worry about that unless it's absolutely urgent and they are unable to attend the appointment. Is that okay?"

"Um... yes" _bathe her? Dress her?!_

"Fantastic" Before Clarke even had time to speak another word, they rounded a corner and Clarke came into contact with the most brightest shade of green you could ever imagine eyes to have. Her whole world around her shifted to green for a split moment before Indra spoke, and snapped her from her emerald haze.

"Miss Griffin, this is my daughter Alexandria."

Blinking, the blonde's focus managed to zoom out from the two gorgeous eyes and fixate on the woman. Her brown, silky hair was perfectly braided, with the exception of a few strays. Her slender legs were wedged comfortably within the wheelchair she sat in, and long slender fingers gripped the edges of the arm rests. She seemed, as it turned out, beautiful.

"H-" Clarke's breathe caught in her throat, and she attempted again "Hello"

The brunette raised her eyebrows "Mother, what is this... Miss Griffin... doing in our home if you don't mind me asking?"

_Ouch_ , Clarke thought _that one burnt_

"She is your new carer for throughout the day"

"What about Gustus?" She seemed to be getting angry

"Alexandria, please. Gustus only comes morning and night. The rest is your sister and she needs a break. We have both agreed upon this-"

"And I haven't agreed to anything. I may be handicapped, mother, but my brain functions just fine." Green eyes landed on Clarke once more "Go home, Miss Griffin"

Alexandria's fingers locked around the controls on her arm rest, and the wheelchair spun around and disappeared behind a corner. Indra turned to Clarke with a disappointed look in her face.

"I'm so sorry, my dear. I should have thought of this before I brought you in" Indra apologised

"No, no. I understand. It's perfectly okay, Miss Woods. Would you like me to wait while you talk to her?"

"If you don't mind. Thank you"

Clarke smiles at her as the woman left to follow her daughter. Truth be told, Alexandria's reaction actually hurt her feelings. It had felt like she had reached into her chest and ripped out her being. She was, as she might say, humiliated. She sighed. What a job this may turn out to be.


	3. Chapter 3

Clarke sat down patiently, one leg crossed over the other and her hands clasped in her lap. She scanned the third floor, and realised what Indra meant. There was a ramp at the side of the side of the room, leading up to a second floor that seemed to be more of a balcony than anything. Clarke was tempted to go explore, but before she could, she heard the whirring of the electric wheelchair. She immediately straightened as Alexandria appeared.

The woman stopped in the centre of the room and stared at her "can you make a good latte, Miss Griffin?"

Clarke paused for a moment. She had no idea- "I can sure try, ma'am"

"Don't do that" She rolled her eyes "My name is Lexa"

"Okay L-"

"Stay down here on this floor unless I ask you otherwise. Up the ramp is where I sleep. I don't like nor want you there. Don't touch anything that looks important and most definitely don't change the channel on the tv without switching it back. As you can see, I can't change it back. I take two sugars" She said in a firm voice as she wheeled past her towards the ramp.

"I- okay..." Clarke said, dumbfounded as she watched the woman disappear at the top of the ramp.

"I apologise" Indra said quietly "Just be grateful she let you stay. Please, don't judge her too hard for this. She just doesn't seem to enjoy the company of others anymore"

"Was she always like this?" Clarke whispered

Indra seemed to have a flash of sadness in her eyes "No. No she was not" she cleared her throat "Anyways, you can head home for now. Would you be happy to start tomorrow?"

Clarke didn't really feel comfortable spending a whole day with this woman who no doubt hated her, but she needed the money "Of course, ma'am"

_______________________

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"I can not stand to work with that woman Raven!"

Clarke paced back and forth in front of the tv, Raven dodging the girl to see the video game she was playing. She smashed at the buttons, thumbs hammering into the controller.

"Clarke could you just... wait one minute I'm so close to doing this-"

Clarke stopped, directly in the centre of the television "Are you even listening to me?" She exclaimed

"I will be, could you just-"

"You are dead!" The television announced in a thunderous, dangerous voice.

"No!" Raven cried out "look what you did to me Clarke! I died! How are you ever going to make this up to me now, huh?"

"I'm making red velvet cake tonight"

"Oh!" The brunette patted the space on the couch beside her "Sit, sit. No time to waste! What's up?"

Clarke tossed her hands in the air "She's so rude! And she's intimidating! How am I meant to care for someone and be scared of them? She belittles me! Like, she'll look me up and down and immediately I feel judged and-"

"Hey, chill. It sounds like you're just dealing with some gloomy commando. She's probably going through a lot, Clarke. I really think you should give this a try."

"I know, I know. I'm just... criticising her too quickly I guess"

"Listen, Clarke if you don't want the job

because it means you'll move out quicker-"

"That's not why" Clarke responded quickly. Raven smiled.

"If it is, that's okay. We've spent a hell of a percentage of our lives here. Together! If you're worried about that, don't be. I can still see you so much we're only moving a few blocks away."

"I know. Really, that's not what I'm worried about. I just don't want to be all alone with a shitty job"

"Who knows, you might get yourself a friendly friend" Raven winked

"A friendly friend?!" The blonde almost choked on air.

"Yeah! You know, someone to do the nasty with... someone to do the nasty with in the shower... someone to do the nasty with on the ben-"

"Raven no thank you!" Clarke short up and went into the kitchen "Is Luna coming over for dinner tonight?"

"Oh! No, not tonight. She's meeting with Anya for a few drinks"

Clark dropped the spoon filled to its brim with flour, splattering the white powder all over the bench. She coughed as she inhaled the cloud of flour surrounding her head.

"Shit!" She coughed once more "Anya?! You mean-"

"Lexa's sister yeah. They're still really good friends!"

"She's just as bad as Lexa" she grumbled

"Just give them a chance yeah?" Raven slouched back into the couch, picking up her game remote once more "You might just find that they're good people"

Clarke scoffed as she cracked her eggs. As if.

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"Well hello again Miss Griffin! I'm glad you decided to come back!" Clarke smiled at Indra as she allowed herself to be ushered into the house "I know she's such a brood sometimes. I'm lucky she didn't scare you away. Here, let me get your coat"

"Thank you, Indra. Hello Anya!" Clarke attempted to make some form of contact with the other woman, as after all, she was working here.

"Mmhph" she replied, and turned the corner away from Clarke

"She'll warm up to you. Here, take these" Indra held out a set of keys "These are the keys for the house. Front door, back door and the the big key is the garage. The little key is for the car key box just next to the garage door."

"You need a key box?"

"Well we have several cars. I'd rather have my cars secured and safe. Most of them are one of a kind or have significant emotion value to either myself, Alexandria, or Anya."

"Oh... so you've got quite the collection then." Clarke said, almost feeling stupid for thinking they didn't.

"Yes! That scrap box parked on the drive is one of Lexa's carers, Gustus."

"And you're trusting me with these keys?"

"Well, you may want them at some point! Why don't you make your way upstairs and greet Lexa. She should just be waking up now, you're just in time for her morning routine!"

"Her... oh I need to-" Clarke suddenly paused, realising that she was probably going to have to bathe and dress this woman on her first day.

"Oh sweetheart don't you worry. Gustus is up there now looking after her. Anya will show you the ropes this morning"

"Oh I- alright" Clarke forced a smile to Indra

"Come on then" Anya murmured, starting on the stairs. Indra smiled warmly at them both.

As Clarke entered the room, she first noticed how much darker it seemed since the first time she had visited, no doubt due to the fact that Lexa not yet out of bed. The blonde caught a whiff of meandering aftershave in the air before the man responsible appeared.

"You must be Gustus" Clarke greeted

"I sure am!" Although she could tell the man was trying to keep quiet, his voice rumbled and boomed through the walls.

He was tall, almost twice the size of her, with brown hair and the thickest beard Clarke had ever seen. He seemed to have thighs for arms and tree trunks for legs. And even though he should be intimidating, his bright, big smile overpowered it all. He reached out a large thick hand to shake.

"I was just going to show Clarke here Lexa's morning routine. She's going to be taking over from me soon" Anya chipped in

"It's about time. You need your own time too" He agreed "Well, I'll be getting going then. I think Clarke has this under control" Gustus placed a hand on the blonde's shoulder, sharing yet another kind smile before leaving

"He seems nice" Clarke smiled

"I don't know how he has the patience" Anya grumbled "Follow me"

As they reached the top of the ramp, Clarke was shocked at how normal the bedroom seemed to be. Well, as normal as a wealthy person can get. There was a singular fur rug at the end of the bed, parked in the corner was Lexa's chair. Along the walls were photographs, and even a desk with a computer- minus the desk chair. The room was painted a dark, gloomy grey. But yet it suited Lexa perfectly, and Clarke found a strange sense of comfort in the colour.

Right in the centre of the large bed, propped up by three pillows and tucked under the covers, was no less than Lexa herself. She seemed to just gaze out of the windows in front of her, watching the early morning light. The crisp golden brown reflected in her eyes.

"Hey, Lexa." Anya touched Lexa's upper arm as if to snap her out of it "It's time to get you up and ready"

"Why is Miss Griffin up here? I thought I said I didn't want her here."

"She's going to be the one helping you in the mornings soon." Anya said "I could use a bit of a break"

Lexa seemed to stare at Clarke. There was no doubt a sense of distaste, but why, Clarke had no clue.

"Alright" the broody brunette nodded softly "but only for you"

"How kind of you" Anya rolled her eyes "So, Clarke. How is Luna?"

Clarke almost stumbled. Anya was trying to make conversation with her? She watched as Anya checked over Lexa's wheel chair.

"Oh! She's doing okay I suppose. She and Raven are still looking for a house. I only ever see her when she comes to see Raven"

"I heard you'll be leaving the apartment when Raven moves?"

"Unfortunately yes"

"Well, you better start saving then, huh?"

Clarke stuttered "Oh- I- yes I will. I'm sure I'll find somewhere..."

"If you can't afford that then I don't think you can afford anywhere" Anya replied with a smug look on her face.

"Im trying to stay positive"

The brunette laying in bed spoke up, clearly fed up by the conversation "Can we get me out of bed yet? I'm getting uncomfortable now"

"Oh please. You can't feel your legs anyway" scoffed Anya


	4. Chapter 4

Lexa was in the back room. Clarke had been at work for five hours now, and had only seen the woman once- when she had called for a cup of tea. It was way past lunch time now, and Clarke was growing increasingly worried for the brunette. Had something happened? She would knock, or go in to check on her, but she had been warned not to bother her. After all, Clarke had just got this job. She didn't want to be fired on the first day.

She was sat, mind almost rotting, at the kitchen bench staring down at the plain, white cup in her hands. It seemed minimal. In fact, the entirety of the floor seemed minimal. Perhaps old habits die hard- even harder when built in the army. She glanced around at the walls. Empty. She imagined all the beautiful paintings she could hang up to bring more colour to the dismal floor.

Sighing in boredom, Clarke finally gave in. She stood up, dragging her loose hair into a ponytail, locking it in place with a hair tie previously found on her wrist. She made her way over towards the closed double doors of which were closed on her all those hours ago. The blonde lifted her hand, and lightly rapped her knuckles against the wood.

"Ms Woods?" She spoke hesitantly.

There was a long pause, until finally came an agitated voice "What do you want?!"

"M-May I come in?"

"fine"

Clarke gently gripped the handle and edged one of the doors open. The young woman was sat with her chair inches away from the window, staring out at the beautiful view her home allowed her to see. Had she been sat here all this time?

"It's 3 o'clock now Lexa"

"And?" she snapped

"You haven't eaten yet. Would you like anything?"

"There's soup in the cupboards" she said bluntly. Her head never once turned away from the window.

"I see. I'll go put that on for you now then. May I leave the door open for now?"

"Why do you want to do that?" she grumbled

"Just so I can keep an eye on you while I'm in the kitchen" she responded

"I don't need looking after. That door has been closed for hours"

"Or maybe" Clarke backed away from the door "I just like the view"

"Excuse me?" Lexa turned her chair to face her, looking annoyed

"I meant... the view outside..."

"Oh." Lexa nodded, frowning and turning back to the window "Sure. Whatever"

The blonde retreated to the kitchen, the air feeling far less tense... and awkward. At least she could say she made some form of progress, by getting Lexa to leave the door open for her. There was no doubt in her mind that the woman was very quiet and restricted about herself, never mind her private life. The woman was far too private to have no story behind her. Clarke was guiltily curious.

Huffing out a nervously held breath, Clarke swung open one of the kitchen cupboards. Stacks of plain, and old by the looks of it, chicken soup lined the shelves. There was a single space from where she could only guess a can had been taken yesterday for dinner.

"All this money and she doesn't even have tomato?" She whispered to herself, digging in the drawers below the bench for a can opener.

As she set the soup as well as the utensil on the counter, she sense the slightest of movement. Looking up, her eyes caught the green of Lexa's. That was, of course, before the woman turned in her wheelchair to face the window once more. Had she been watching her?

She shook it off and poured the soup into the pan for hearing. There was a microwave, which would be easier, but Clarke always found it frustrating when the outsides were warm, but the centre was always just the slightest bit cooler. It was easier for her in a pan anyway.

Once the soup had warmed up, she poured the soup into a bowl she had dug out from the cupboard, and opened the bread bin.

"Would you like some bread with your soup Lexa?" She asked

"You have bread with your soup?" She scoffed.

"Well of course."

"No. That's disgusting" she commented.

"Alright..." Clarke mumbled to herself, sliding the bowl onto a tray and carrying it to Lexa's room.

She found a spot at a desk to place it. But now was the difficult part. Would Lexa even let her feed her?

"It's ready" she said

"Just leave it there, thank you"

"But... don't you need help?"

"I don't need your help" Lexa quipped. She was facing out the window again.

Clarke stood awkwardly in the doorway, unsure of what to do. Lexa couldn't just go without eating, but she didn't want to force her to eat either. She sighed at how difficult her client was making it for her.

"Okay, well, you can let me help you now, or you can let me get fired by your mother for not taking care of you"

"And why would I care?" Lexa snapped back

"Because I, surprisingly, have a life too. Which would be made difficult if I didn't have a job to pay for it." Clarke spoke.

She scared herself. Talking like that to a client was awful, and only increased her chances of losing her job. She stood in silence, and watched as Lexa's fingers twitched to the controls in her chair. She spun round to look at her, her stare dead and cold.

"Alright then."

The response took her entirely by surprise. Clarke had expected some sort of outburst. Some form of anger. It was utterly baffling.

"Do you mind if I use this?" Clarke asked, signalling to the chair at the desk

"Well I'm not using it" Lexa said. It was strange. The brunette had said it more in humour than... just her common snappy quip.

Clarke smiled "thank you"

Lexa approached closer in her wheelchair, and sighed "just please don't get it on my shirt."

"I won't." Clarke said. She took a paper towel from the tray "I'll hold this under the spoon just in case"

Lexa nodded, and watched as Clarke filled the spoon

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"And the cupboards were just filled with chicken soup Luna"

Luna stared across the living room at Clarke, Ravens feet rested in her lap.

"Look Clarke. There are a lot of veterans that stick close to what they know. There were no fancy dinners when she was away. Just bland boring food. And honestly, maybe she doesn't have a good appetite."

"I suppose. She just seems... so defensive. So angry but... sad in a way"

"If you went through what she had been through, maybe you'd be sad too Clarke." Luna shrugged "How's Anya?"

"She was asking after you. Asking how you were?"

"Did you tell her I'm rich now?"

"Oh yes definitely" Clarke said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. Raven sighed.

"I'm bored with this conversation. I've got nothing to say in it"

"Good. Keep it like that" Luna commented, grinning. Raven pretended to kick her, and Luna snatched her foot, tickling.

Clarke rolled her eyes and stood up.

"I think I'm gonna get an early night. I'm exhausted"

"Clarke it's only like..." Raven checked her watch "half seven"

"And I'm tired!" She shrugged "night guys"

"Night" Luna mumbled.

Clarke closed the bedroom door behind her, leaning her head back against the hollow wood. She was exhausted. She was worn out from doing nothing all day. She paced over to her bed, removing her shirt and dropping face first into the pillows.

She thought back to today at work. At first, Lexa had been so stubborn with her. But as soon as she had convinced her to help, Lexa was taking mouthfuls from the spoon without a breath. Once she had finished, Clarke had simply taken the tray and washed the dishes.

She turned over onto her back. Lexa Woods was indeed a confusing woman, and she had no idea how to figure her out.

Her eyes drooped with the weight of exhaustion, and soon enough, she was asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Clarke closed the door behind her and placed her bag and keys on the coffee table. She hung her coat on the back of the chair.

"Hello?" Came a voice from upstairs

"It's just me Lexa! I'm on my way up now"

Clarke made her way up the ramp to Lexa's bed, and approached.

"Good morning Lexa" she said with a smile. Maybe if she tried being more friendly, Lexa would show the same effort.

"Mhm"

Clearly not.

"Alright let's get you up and dressed alright?"

"Finally." She grumbled.

Clarke gently lifted Lexa to sit up like she had been told, and dressed her, beginning with her shirt, and then her trousers. Clarke did her best to divert her eyes whilst also dressing her. She could only imagine how uncomfortable it was for her. After dressing people before, Clarke understood that the best way to do it was quickly.

"Ready?" She asked.

"Mhm" came the response again

Clarke gently lifted Lexa, placing her into her chair. Ever so gently, she placed her legs and strapped them in, and positioned her arms on the arm rests.

"Alright? Are you comfortable?"

"I'm fine"

"Alright well, I'll go get your meds ready. Would you like anything?"

"A cup of tea would be nice please." Lexa mumbled, and left down the ramp without another word. The blonde followed quietly.

She seemed flustered, almost embarrassed of herself. Clarke did her best to ignore it, and put a reassuring smile on her face- not that Lexa cared anyway.

The brunette headed directly for the room she always spent her time in, and parked up at the window.

"Would you close the door please Clarke?"

"Of cour-"

There was a knock at the door. Clarke turned, confused. Why would Indra or Anya knock? Surely Gustus would know not to knock.

"Leave it" Lexa said quickly, before Clarke could even make a move to open it.

"Is it not important?"

"No. It's not."

The door opened, and in strode a woman. She had long, brown curly hair. Not like Luna's, where it seemed slightly wild, but tamed. Perfect curls. She had dark brown eyes that fixed on the room Lexa was in as soon as she entered.

"Put a coffee on for me would you?" She said. Her voice was silky smooth, and she spoke without even making eye contact. She seemed determined to get to Lexa.

"I... alright" Clarke said.

She was entirely baffled, and she flipped the switch of the kettle as she watched the door close behind them. Who on earth was that?

Shrugging, she poured hot water into two cups, and slid them onto a tray once again. She dodged around the island in the kitchen and walked towards the door, knocking ever so gently

The door slid open quickly, the woman took the two cups, and closed it again. Clarke stared at the closed door, empty tray in her hands.

"Do you have to be so rude?" Lexa asked

"I'm not. But I would like to know why you're not returning any of my calls or messages"

The muffled words echoed through the door. Clarke slowly backed away and took at seat at the kitchen table.

"I can't use my arms. What would you like me to do?" The cold tone could be heard from miles away

"Lexa, I'm not here to fight."

"Then why are you here Costia?"

There was a pause of silence, possibly time from a long sip of coffee.

"I'm getting married."

This time, the silence was stronger. More... hurtful. Clarke dug around in her bag, and lifted out a box. She clicked open its sides and played with the pieces of waffle inside that she had packed for breakfast, busying herself and trying not to listen.

"Ontari?" Lexa said

"Yes. She proposed a month ago" There were footsteps. And a shadow paced back and forth in front of the door "We agreed that we should invite you"

"Why the hell would I want to go?" Lexa snapped. Clarke raised an eyebrow.

"Well I.... I just thought maybe you'd want to be there. For me?"

Clarke stood, getting the feeling like she should interrupt. She opened Lexa's cupboard of medication, and fumbled with the pill bottles, arranging them into a small glass ready, along with another glass of water.

"I think you should leave, Costia" Lexa said. Her voice was quiet.

"Lexa, I know that what happened to you wasn't fair. You didn't deserve it" Clarke almost dropped the last pill, only just managing to land it in the cup "but not everyone has to stay behind in their lives for you"

Clarke walked briskly to the door and knocked once more. The door opened, and Costia stared back at her once more. Lexa stared at the back of Costia's head with... an expression she'd never seen before.

"It's time for Lexa to take her medication."

"Can't it wait? We're talking."

"Her condition doesn't wait" The blonde responded. "You could maybe come back tomorrow if it's important."

The tall brunette looked behind at Lexa, and them back at Clarke, widening the opening to the door and stepping out.

"No. No I don't think I will. I've said everything I need to say"

She brushed past Clarke, and headed to the door. Neither Lexa or herself moved until the door had closed.

Lexa sighed "Thank you"

Clarke raised an eyebrow "thank you?"

"My medication isn't due for another fifteen minutes. I know you were listening. Although I'm not happy you were, I'm thankful that you got her to leave"

"You just needed a little help that's all." Clarke came in, holding the meds and the water "There's nothing wrong with that."

Lexa stayed silent as Clarke sat down in her newly claimed seat in the room.

"Wedding huh?" She tried

"Not going" Lexa murmured "could you turn on the stereo for me please"

"Of course. What do you want me to put on?"

"Just press play"

“Alright.”

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Clarke sat at the dining table, taking bites out of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Lexa had been listening to her music for hours now. It seemed to be the same artist, but a different song every time. He had a prominent voice, but the style of music was nothing that Clarke had imagined Lexa to enjoy. It seemed to be rap, but mixed with rock. It was confusing.

She had been watching out of the window for quite a while now, and the snow outside seemed to be piling high. It was obvious that her bus would be delayed tonight. Almost every door was snowed in, and Clarke wondered if Indra or Anya would even be able to get home.

"Clarke?" Lexa's voice snapped her eyes away from the window. She stood up rapidly and made her way to Lexa, worried. She never called for her.

"Y-yes?" Clarke opened the door.

Lexa was closer to her door now. There was something behind her eyes that confused Clarke. She seemed... sad. Sadder than usual.

"Are you alright?" Clarke said gently, and switched off the music. She took a seat across from Lexa

"Why do you concern yourself with me?"

Clarke was taken back by the question.

"What do you mean?"

"Why take this job? Out of everything. Why this one?"

"Well I... I needed the money I suppose? And I find that it helps to care for somebody else"

"You've been a career before?" Lexa asked. She was showing interest in Clarke's life. Not that Clarke minded, but it was peculiar. Perhaps she was just distracting herself from her own life.

"Yes I did."

"What happened to them?" Lexa asked quietly "Have they passed?"

Clarke thought back to Finn. Grabbing her, kissing her. His mother's angry face. She didn't even want it.

"No. I just moved on with my work. He couldn't be cared for the way he needed."

Lexa nodded quietly, not pushing any further.

Clarke's phone buzzed in her pocket, and she gently removed the phone. She tried to ignore Lexa's pointed stare at her pink glittery phone case as she answered.

"Hello, Mrs woods"

"Clarke! Hello. It seems that the snow has gotten the better of everyone. I don't think I'll make it home tonight, nor Anya I can assume. Gustus has a client emergency..."

"Would you like me to stay?" Clarke offered. She knew the question was coming anyways.

"If you could my dear. I will pay you extra for the hours."

Clarke looked up at Lexa, who was watching intently, listening. Her green eyes seemed curious, almost childish.

"There's no need Indra. Don't worry about it"

"Are you sure sweetheart? I'm sure you want to get yourself home"

"No, no" Clarke chirped "I have no problem with that"

"Thank you so much, Dear. I'll call you immediately if anything changes."

Clarke hung up the phone, and slid it onto the desk

"Looks like you're dealing with me all night. The snow is pestering everyone right now"

"I see" Lexa replied. The conversation died off, and Clarke decided to make more effort to talk to her

"So who was that you were listening to on the radio? His voice was... different?"

She wouldn't say Lexa perked up, but she definitely saw some passion in her eyes as she began to talk.

"His name was Lil Peep. Now, his name and his appearance tricks many into thinking he's just another reckless rapper. But..." Lexa trailed off to think "He has a sense of honesty in his music that I find to be comforting"

"Honesty?"

"He is honest about his own pain. A thing many people struggle to do" Lexa said.

Clarke thought for a moment. Maybe that's what the broody brunette was doing. Maybe she struggled to show her own pain. It was obvious something was wrong in her mind, no doubt related to her condition now, but she had many secrets and untold stories.

"I can understand that." Clarke smiled. She turned on the stereo again for Lexa, at a lower volume "what happened to him?"

"He passed of an overdose in 2017."

"Oh..." Clarke said sadly. The music wasn't loud enough to hear the lyrics, but it was enough to be soothing.

"How about we start getting you ready for bed? It's getting late."

Lexa thought for a moment, staring into space.

"Lexa?"

Green eyes landed on her "Yes." She replied

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Clarke grunted trying to fit the clothes in the washing machine, her knees digging into the solid wood floor. She had changed Lexa, and put her to bed. The brunette had asked to watch a film, and Clarke had left her in front of the television to go wash her clothes.

Pulling herself up with a hand on the bench, she heard the faint hum of the stereo still left on. Clarke sighed and made her way in to turn it off. Now that the world had quietened down outside as it slept, Clarke could hear the words the man sang on the stereo. Pulling up a chair, she sat and listened.

"Worry bout yourself baby I'll be good, I just wanna die in peace tonight"

Clarke frowned at the morbid lyrics. The poor man had certainly felt a lot of pain in his life.

"You can see it in my face so I wear my hood, feeling like it's five degrees tonight"

She pressed the skip button, looking for of this mans music. Maybe she could understand Lexa a little more if she understood him. The song began with a strong, mellow guitar. And then his voice began again

"Wait right here... I'll be back in the morning. I know that I'm not that important to you but to me girl you're so much more than gorgeous, so much more than perfect. Right now I know that I'm not really worth it if you give me time I can work on it. Give me some time while I work on it..."

Clarke frowned and pressed the plus on the volume pad

"Loosing your patience and girl I don't blame you, the earths in rotation, you waitin for me."

Clarke stood, opening the drawer under the stereo and skipping to the next song again.

"I think about the times that we could have had it all, I was in the back then, now I'm in the spot light. Remember last fall? We could have had it all, but it's alright"

Clarke found the broken picture frames inside, and pulled one out. It was the tall woman, Costia she believed her name was, stood next to a more healthy looking Lexa. That's when Clarke understood.

Costia left Lexa, most likely after the accident... or whatever had happened. She turned off the music and closed out the photo away.

"Clarke?"

"I'm coming!" Clarke called and quickly closed the door


	6. Chapter 6

"Is everything alright?" Clarke said as she made her way up the ramp. Lexa was tucked in tightly in bed, in the same position she was in before... obviously.

"Yeah." She said "are you busy?"

"No of course not. I just put your clothes in the wash. Why?"

"I was just wondering if you would like to stay and watch this film with me." She said quietly, and looked at her. Her green pearly eyes were, without a doubt, gorgeous.

"Of course." Clarke smiled "What is it again?"

"The Avengers Clarke"

"DC?" She asked

Lexa almost looked at her in disgust "you are joking right?"

"No..."

"It's Marvel Clarke. You've never watched the Marvel films?"

"Not particularly no. Raven loves them but, I always fall asleep"

"Who's Raven?"

"Oh just my room mate" Clarke smiled "Luna's fiancé"

"I see." Lexa replied. Maybe fiancé's are a touchy subject right now "You should watch every marvel film."

"Why?" Clarke questioned "aren't they just for teenage boys?"

Lexa looked... "No! Of course not? They're amazing pieces of work, some of the best film series there is"

"Alright alright. I'll watch it... who's he?"

"That is Thor Clarke... you have too much to learn. I'm giving you homework"

"Me? Homework?" Clarke laughed "I'm an employee, not a student Lexa"

"As your employer I'm telling you"

"Your mother employs me" Clarke replied cheekily

"Well, in place of my mother, I am telling you" Lexa smiled.

Clarke was taken by surprise by the smile. Her smile was so genuine, rare and bright. The blonde fell silent and watched.

"You're missing the film"

"Right"

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Lexa had fallen asleep near the end of the film, and Clark quietly turned the television off, and flicked the switch on the bedside light.

In the dark, without the wheelchair or her medication in view, it looked like there was nothing wrong with Lexa. She looked at peace in her sleep- less troubled. The outside glow reflected off her high cheek bones, and her eyes fluttered in her sleep.

Clarke turned to head down the ramp, and paused as she saw the laptop in the corner. She had been nosey enough as it was today. Maybe tomorrow.

She scolded herself as she made her way down to the lower floor and lay down on the sofa. She was there to work and care for Lexa. That was it. Being intrusive and trying to figure things out was not her place.

Just as she began to settle down, the door opened and two eyes poked through. For a moment, Clarke's heart leapt out of her chest and she sat up, only to realise it was Anya.

"Hey" Anya whispered as she walked closer "you can head off now. We got the snow shifted"

"I don't..." Clarke checked her watch "the buses won't be running right now"

Anya sighed "I could take you home if you prefer? My mother is just in the other room"

"Only if you're sure" Clarke said, sliding on her coat and picking up her bag

"Sure I am. Let's go"

_________________

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As the truck barrelled through the snow, Clarke was thankful for the fact that Anya had enough money to own a large truck. Driving through this amount of ice and snow would be horrifying in a normal car. The white crisp lights lit up the dark like heavens gates were wide open, and the tires carried them through with ease.

"So, anything happened today I should know of? Was Lexa alright?"

"Oh... well..."

Anya glanced at her "Don't say she was being difficult"

"Oh, no! No not at all. In fact I think she's easing up on me a bit. There was however a visitor."

"A visitor?" Anya asked "Who?"

"I think her name was Costia?"

Anya groaned "Jesus what did she want?"

"I think she came to tell Lexa she was getting married. Said something about inviting her to the wedding or something. I wasn't really listening too much" Clarke shrugged. That was lie, but she wasn't about to tell her she was eavesdropping.

"Of course you weren't. What was that woman thinking, coming and talking to her like that?"

"I take it they have bad history?" Clarke commented

"You could say that. After Lexa was... put in the position she is in, Costia took off. She didn't call for weeks. They were together, I guess she broke her heart."

That explained a lot.

"So why would she invite her to her wedding?"

"I suppose she feels sorry for her. It's not like a wedding invitation is a good way to reach out though. Is it this one?"

"Yep this one right here!" Clarke pointed to the door

"Jesus... this place looks... rough."

Clarke shrugged, looking at the tatty street "its home for now I suppose. Thank you so much for the lift Anya."

"No problem, Clarke. Oh! Did you wash Lexa's clothes?"

"They're in the washing machine now they just need drying. I'll do it tomorrow!"

"Alright Clarke. Have a good night"

"Drive safe!" Clarke said, climbing out of the tall truck and closing the door.

Her feet sank deep into the snow, her ankles being swallowed by the cold. She grumbled and waded her way through to the door. She swung open the door, swatting the snow off the bottom of her legs with the back of her fingers and removing her shoes.

"Where the hell have you been?" Raven exclaimed "Clarke it's one in the morning!"

Raven stood angrily in the doorway, largely representing that of an angry mother. Her bunny slippers flopped and her hair was tousled.

"I had to stay behind at work because of the snow." Clarke said warily, stepping in. Raven hugged her quickly

"You're cold but I was worried about you. I thought your bus crashed or something"

"No i-" Raven stepped back and pointed to the bathroom "Warm bath. Now."

"Raven I had a ride in fine"

"Now" Raven bossed "And then you're straight to bed"

"Yes mom" Clarke grumbled and made her way to the bathroom. Spinning the taps and letting the hot water fill the bath.

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"Hey sweetheart"

Clarke looked up at the woman, smiling

"Hey mom"

"How are you, love? How is the new job?"

Clarke sighed and leant back in the chair, fiddling with the coffee in front of her.

"Where do I start..." She laughed "It's difficult. But it's not like I never want to go"

"What's the client like?" Abby smiled

"Difficult. Young?" Clarke sipped at her coffee "She seems troubled. But as a ex military you can also kind of understand that, but there's something else"

"Well I suggest you be there when she needs you. But don't go digging around in her business. If she wants you to know anything, you'll know."

"You're right... how's work?" Clarke asked, changing the topic before she found herself lost thinking about the brunette once again.

Abby groaned "ridiculous. I'm working night shifts. It's exhausting."

"I can only imagine. I had to stay last night from the snow"

"I just want to sleep" Abby cackled "But I still love it. Helping people, I mean"

"Me too" Clarke smiled at her "Want me to buy?"

"If you could sweetheart. My legs won't carry me another step without coffee"

"I've got it covered" Clarke smiled, making her way to the barista "hey there, you wouldn't mind making another laté would you?"

The barista turned with a friendly smile on his face "Come on Clarke, I've made way too many for you today" He laughed "it's on me"

"Thanks Bellamy, you really don't have to"

"Just don't tell my boss" he grinned, long and slightly greasy hair falling over his brown eyes. He tucked it back under his cap

"My lips are sealed"


	7. Chapter 7

"Oh! Clarke! I thought I'd catch you on your way in!" Indra said as she greeted her at the door. Clarke gently shook the snow off her umbrella, making sure to hit the mat. She wouldn't dare drop snow on the expensive looking tiles.

"Hello Ms Woods" Clarke smiled "what's up?"

"Today's going to be slightly different"

"Different?" She asked

"Yes." Indra tapped her fingers together "Alex- Lexa has a check up in the hospital today. Just her usual check ups to make sure the paralysis hasn't progressed or isn't causing any more pain than normal. I was wondering if perhaps you would like to join us this time, given that you're supposed to be taking over Anya's role. However I understand if you don't want to. Gustus is going regardless. You could stay here-"

"Of course not, Indra. I must go! This is part of caring for Lexa" Clarke smiled

"Are you sure? She's rather moody on these days"

"I'm more than sure ms Woods"

"Oh, goodness call me Indra. I'm begging you"

The sound of Lexa's quietly whirring wheelchair caught Clarke's attention, and the brunette, along with her sister Anya, rounded the corner.

Lexa looked more tidy than usual, probably because she was actually leaving the house today. Or perhaps just because Anya had helped her dress. She wore a simple white blouse, and some rather comfortable looking trousers. Her hair was well brushed and extremely shiny, although Clarke made a mental note to ask about getting the poor woman a hair cut.

"Good morning, Clarke" Lexa greeted

"Hello Lexa. How are you feeling today?"

Lexa hummed "Well despite the fact that I mostly can't feel much, especially my toes, the part of me that can feel is feeling alright."

Clarke laughed lightly at the girls humour and turned to Indra "when are we leaving exactly?"

"Now"

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Clarke sat in the small waiting room, watching as the doctor lifted Lexa up to a sitting position on the bed to examine her spine.

"How long has she been this way?" Clarke asked quietly

"What, broody? Or disabled?" Indra asked

"I mean... how long has she been paralysed for?"

"A few years now I would say. She was twenty three when it happened. She still had her whole life ahead of her"

"She still does" Clarke smiled reassuringly, placing a hand on Indra's knee.

"Unfortunately for us dear, she doesn't believe she does."

Clarke tilted her head. Was that why Lexa was so frustrated? Was that why she acted the way that she did? Maybe that is why Costia left too.

"I just wish she could see more of what her life could be like, even with the obstacles she has." Indra said sadly

"What do you mean?"

"Well" The older woman sighed, running her finger up and down the styrofoam coffee cup "it's no secret that Lexa isn't the biggest fan of... well, being alive anymore. Especially during her breakdowns, she would talk about going to Switzerland, for an assisted suicide. Euthanasia if you will."

"But she can't just give up like that. Right? She's so young." Clarke argued. The idea of Lexa giving up so quickly, despite having hardly known her, didn't sit right in her stomach

"Unfortunately Miss Griffin, Lexa is of age to make her own decisions. Myself and Anya can argue with her over it as much as we please, but at the end of the day. It is her choice."

Indra looked sad. But what mother wouldn't be? Clarke couldn't even imagine how it felt for her, or for Anya, or even Lexa.

"Is there anything I can do?" Clarke asked, lightly placing her hand over Indra's

"She seems fond of you" Indra said, wiping away a stray tear and straightening her back slightly, giving herself more strength "You're young. Most likely around the same age that she is. Show her that life is worth living, even if it's living it from a wheelchair."

Clarke felt a bubble of determination in her chest as she turned to look back at Lexa, who was being helped back into her chair. Taking a deep breath, she turned back to Indra.

"I promise I will do everything I can." Clarke said, willpower in her voice

"Of course you will dear" Indra smiled

"But... I also don't have any money..." The blonde said, scratching her elbow.

"Oh don't you worry about that, you know I've got plenty. Besides, we need to spend it on something other than Anya's increasing collection of gnomes"

"Gnomes...?"

"That's between you and I only. Understand?" Indra said, mischief meandering in her eyes.

"I understand" Clarke laughed

There was a moment of silence as the door opened, and Lexa was taken for a scan.

"You know Clarke, I haven't learnt anything about you." Indra said "other than the fact that you take brilliant care of my daughter."

"Well I..." Clarke thought. She didn't really have many passions "I like drawing and painting. That sort of thing. When I was a kid I used to dream of being a world famous artist. To have these wild exhibitions, and for people to love my work for years after I'm gone"

Indra crossed her legs and turned to her "why did you? Go ahead with the art I mean"

Clarke remembered her mother's face when she came home way later than usual. She had spent hours more with her father in the hospital than she normally had.

"My father died." Clarke said, more like a question than an answer "I don't really know, it just happened and I stopped thinking as big."

"So while you could have been a big fancy rich artist, you're working for somebody fancy and rich?" Indra joked. The tv was obvious she was trying to change the subject from her father

"Basically" the blonde laughed "but I don't regret it. I like helping people"

"Is that why you became a career?"

"It wasn't my intention. But yes, I suppose it was"

"Well, I hope you do start enjoy coming here and looking after Lexa. She may not show it as much as we'd like, but you do help her.She is stubborn no doubt, and doesn't warm up to new people well. But I hope she isn't hassling you too much."

"Miss Woods, I get to stay in a mansion with a beautiful view of 9 hours. That itself is fine by me"

They chucked for a while, every now and then exchanged comments, talking about simple things. At one point, Anya came back and joined it. It had seemed like she had gotten used to Clarke, at least a little more anyways. She engaged with her enough.

"Hey, Clarke?" Anya asked

"What's up? Would you like me to go get you another coffee?" She smiled

"No no. No I..." she sat forward "listen, I was wondering if you'd think about doing something"

"Like what?" Clarke was puzzled.

"The wedding you mentioned the other day" Anya said "I know she isn't really showing it but it's bothering her. I was thinking maybe you'd take her"

Clarke was taken back by the proposition. Firstly, she wasn't entirely sure Lexa left her house at all unless it was for the hospital. Secondly... it was her ex girlfriends wedding.

"Are you sure?" Clarke said, then immediately hesitated "I mean, I'd obviously go. I'd take her. But I just... would she even go? Have you asked her?"

"No, I haven't" Anya smiled "I'll leave that up to you"

"Me?"

"Yes, you"

Indra sighed from beside Clarke "Honestly Anya, don't make it harder on the girl"

Clarke watched a rather pointed stare come from Anya land on Indra

"But..." Indra narrowed her eyes slightly "Maybe you could convince her, sweetheart"

Brushing off the strange interaction, Clarke stood to put her empty cup in the bin "I'll see what I can do."


	8. Chapter 8

"I will have you know Miss Woods that I have officially finished every Marvel film" Clarke announced

"Oh have you now?" Lexa lifted an eyebrow

"Yes! Every one"

"Who's your favourite avenger?" Lexa quizzed

"The black widow."

"Decent" she hummed "did you watch the Antman and wasp film?"

"The what?" Clarke froze

"It's not relevant anyway" Lexa said

It was common that interactions between Lexa and Clarke would be short but sweet. They would converse and it would come to an abrupt stop, almost like Lexa would hit the brakes and that would be the end of it. Clarke didn't mind as much as she thought she did though. She was at least happy she was getting somewhere with her.

"I'm just going to go make your bed okay? Just shout if you need me" Clarke announced, having no response from Lexa.

She took the clean clothes from the dryer and carried them upstairs, placing them in a pile on the messy bed to fold. One by one, she neatly and decoratively placed the expensive fabric in the set of drawers beside Lexa's bed. She then made the bed, tucking the corners and making sure the bed sheets weren't creased. Although Lexa wouldn't even notice, Clarke's hated the bedsheet being loose in her bed. It oddly frustrated her.

After fluffing the pillows to their maximum potential, Clarke took a step back at the room. She gave herself a nod of approval and turned to head back down to Lexa. She paused.

The same laptop was sat on top of the desk next to the bathroom door, in the same place it had always been, taunting her in the same way it always did. Her fingers twitched to see what it contained. She took another step away and towards the ramp.

Groaning, she spun on her heels and swooped up the laptop in her hands, sitting on the bed and opening it. The bright screen almost blinded her as it demanded for a password

"Oh"She mumbled, and pulled her head back to think.

She tried many passwords, thinking even as far as to the most played song on Lexa's stereo. She tried Costia's name. Lexa's full name. Nothing. Sighing, she typed in

"Passwords suck"

The screen shifted and suddenly, she was staring at Lexa's desk top "You have to be kidding me" she whispered, grinning at the stupidity in it.

Clarke opened the files, and found a folder that read 'Vacation 2016'. She clicked.

~

"I don't even know how to work this camera" A smooth voice said from behind the lens

"Look you literally just... you're filming right now" Lexa laughed "alright who's going first"

"Definitely not me" Anya said with a pointed look, arms crossed.

There were quite the number of people there, perhaps 3 or 4, dressed in swim suits. Lexa stood at the cliffs edge, and looked at the camera with the expanse of the ocean behind her. She was standing then, her long legs lifting her ever so slightly taller than her sister. Her smile was wide, and her green eyes glowed against the blue water behind her.

"Alright. Clearly you guys are just a bunch of pussies"

With that, she jumped off the cliff with a backwards summersault and into the water.

"Fucking show off" Anya grumbled

~

The video ended, and another began

~

"I'm gonna fucking kill you Lincoln!" Lexa yelled.

Somebody from behind the camera giggled as Lexa barrelled down the stairs, half dressed, shirt missing. A large bulk figure stood in the background laughing, waving a white button up shirt around his head- no doubt the man Lexa was yelling at. Her foot hit the ground and she slipped, landing her her back and skidding into the wall. The room irrupted into laughter

"I can't believe you fell for that Lex. How could you not see there was oil on the floor"

Lexa stood up, feet slipping and sliding under her "you're cleaning this up" she said with a grin

~

Clarke hit the pause button before the next video could begin. Lexa seemed just like any other young adult. She was so happy and care free. The blonde could hardly get over the shock of seeing her actually standing. There was one thing that Clarke couldn't deny though, and that was that Lexa Woods was without a doubt, beautiful. From her smile to her posture, to her rather well exercised body.

Clarke hit play again

~

The video began with two people in a light yellow glow, face to face. Without a doubt, one of them was Lexa. The other took a moment to focus, before it was made clear that it was Costia

"I love you" she said to Lexa

"I love you too"

The exchange was heartfelt, and it was obvious that Lexa meant every word.

"I'm not going anywhere" Costia whispered

~

"What are you doing?"

The voice startled Clarke and She quickly hit pause, looking up at Lexa.

"Oh! Lexa! I- my phone died, and well, I saw your laptop and I wanted to look up that movie you mentioned-"

"Right" Lexa said, her chair carrying her closer.

Clarke flipped the laptop closed and put it to the side. It was obvious now, having just seen Lexa in the videos, that there had been some change. She looked tired, warm out. There was some clear weight loss, and those bright emerald eyes looked more troubled.

"I tried calling for you, but I don't think you heard" Lexa said quietly

"I'm sorry" Clarke said guiltily.

There was a pause of silence.

"What was the matter?" She tried

The brunette hesitated for a moment, before settling on an answer "It was nothing"

It wouldn't take a genius to tell that Lexa had something on her mind, but Clarke refused to press.

"Alright. I'll go make you your dinner"

_____________

()()()()()()()()()()

Clarke nervously nibbled at her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Lexa watched out of the corner of her eye, suspicious. It had taken Clarke a while to actually build up the courage to ask her if she wanted to go to the wedding. She wasn't entirely sure why, because it was only a wedding- not a prom date or something as ridiculous as that. She would literally be taking Lexa and being her carer, like she always is.

That, and Clarke had been waiting for the right moment to actually ask. But now, when Clarke was sat in Lexa's room, eating her sandwich, she thought that now would be a good time.

"So, I was thinking" she started.

Lexa's attention diverted from the television on focused on her, her eyesight was like two giant spotlights landing on her at once. She gulped, suddenly nervous again.

"About what?" Lexa asked

Building up the courage, she shrugged "About that wedding you were invited to?"

The brunette turned back towards the television "What about it?"

"Well, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go?"

Lexa frowned and narrowed her eyes "why would I want to go...?"

Clarke fumbled on her words, not quite sure what to say.

"Maybe it would be good to get you out into a social setting again" she tried

"I don't want a social setting. And I definitely don't want that one"

"Oh come on, I've always wanted to show up to a random wedding as someone's carer. I get to guess which is the alcoholic uncle" Clarke complained, earning a smile from Lexa

"My uncle was an alcoholic" she replied

"Well thanks for the spoilers"

Lexa laughed quietly. Not entirely a full laugh, not like Clarke had seen in the videos, but it was definitely a laugh.

"If I go" Lexa said, emphasising the word 'if' "Why would it matter?"

Clarke shrugged, taking another bite out of her sandwich "You get to show them what they're missing."


	9. Chapter 9

"Clarke would you just stay still? For once? Jesus Christ!"

"I can't stay still, Raven, when you're hurting me!"

"I'm not hurting you, stop being a little pussy ass bitch!"

"You're being a dickhead" Clarke murmured

"Asshat"

"Knob bobbler"

"Bitchass"

"Oh how original" Clarke rolled her eyes

"You may have muted yourselves but don't you dare think for one minute I don't know what you're saying you two" Abby warned through the phone.

It had taken all day on Sunday to find a dress that Clarke actually liked and fit into. On the final hour, Clarke's mother had called her on her lunch break to help out. It was strictly panic stations, and Clarke hated herself for leaving it until the day before to think about needing a dress. For some reason, Clarke didn't want to settle on something that would 'just do'. Raven stepped away from Clarke and unmuted the FaceTime.

"Good god" Abby said

"Jesus Griffin. Your tits look banging" Raven said before pausing "I meant the younger Griffin."

Abby scolded her "that is my daughter! I was going to say that that colour suits your eyes so well dear. You look beautiful"

"Yeah that's what I meant" Raven nodded "it still confuses me that you're stressing this much about this. You're going as her carer. Nobody really gives a rats ass."

Clarke shrugged "I still want to look nice"

There was an awkward moment of silence where Raven stared at her, cogs whirring in her brain.

"You don't want to just be a carer do you"

"Alright mom I'm gonna have to go the phones gonna die! I love you, I'll call you back tonight! bye!" Clarke hung up

"Holy shit Clarke"

"What Raven?"

"Do you like Lexa?"

"What's this?" Luna appeared at the door.

Clarke felt her face scorching, and she preyed she hadn't turned the colour of beetroot. It wasn't the fact that she was being accused of liking Lexa that way, but the fact that she thought that it was a possibility.

"I don't like her Raven don't be silly" Clarke said, opening the closet door to look for shoes... and hide her burning face.

"You literally do. What the fuck? This is news!"

"I don't!" Clarke denied "She's just sweet. And I want to make sure that she enjoys her night"

"Oh yeah you'll make sure of that huh?" Raven winked

"You're absolutely despicable" Clarke said, ushering her out of her room. She slammed the door in her face and leant against the door, frowning.

She had to admit to herself, though, that the butterflies in her stomach were untameable every time she thought about Lexa's green eyes. Or her voice. Or her wavy hair... or her lips.

She grumbled and slid to the floor.

_______________

()()()()()()()()()()()()

"Hey Anya!" Clarke greeted with a big smile as she walked into Lexa's room "how are you?"

"Jesus, don't you clean up well?" Anya said

"Oh don't be ridiculous"

The tall woman reached into her pocket and pulled out a set of shiny keys "these are the car keys. You can put Lexa in the front and the wheelchair in the back. Do you think there's anything else you need?"

"I don't think so? Wait, can she drink or do I have to keep her on a leash"

Anya shrugged "She's not really supposed to. But honestly, let her live. It's only one night anyway and she's not a child"

Anya made her way to the door "just keep an eye on her for me please"

"I promise"

"Lexa! Come on, Clarke's here!" Anya yelled, before turning back to Clarke "I'll see you later"

And... then there was one. Clarke quietly sat down at the kitchen island, twiddling her thumbs and tapping her finger tips together. She frowned.

Where was Lexa? Was she okay? Obviously she wasn't doing anything. Clarke still waited patiently though. Perhaps she was just building up the courage to leave. Maybe she needed a moment, and Clarke was more than okay to wait for that.

It was at that moment that Clarke had noticed she had already chipped her nail polish. This was exactly why she didn't wear the stuff. Sighing, she dug around in her clutch bag and grabbed her polish. She stuck her tongue out, nibbling it between her teeth as she narrowed her eyes and delicately dabbed a light layer over the area lacking colour. She stood out the finger as she put it back in her bag.

Standing, she wafted her hand wildly, hoping it would dry quicker. She quickly realised that it probably wasn't the best idea to apply it directly before she was leaving, and she blew violently at her hand.

"Clarke?" Came the Lexa's gently voice from behind her. She spun around.

"Lexa! I-" Clarke paused. Lexa was dressed... well amazingly. She wore a white button up shirt, and suit pants. Her hair was in her typical braids. It was casual, no doubt about it, and yet it definitely screamed wedding

"You look beautiful, Clarke" the brunette commented.

She could feel the blush creeping down her neck at the compliment.

"Thank you... I've had this dress for years but I never wore it"

"I don't understand why" Lexa said "it matches your eyes wonderfully"

"Oh!" Lexa had managed to hit her again with another compliment and she wasn't sure how to take it "thank you! I... well we best be going shouldn't we? Don't want to be late"

"I heard being late was slightly fashionable now"

Clarke winced as she opened the door to let Lexa through

"It's a myth when it comes to weddings unfortunately" she said

________________

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Clarke was sat with her head rested on her hand, looking down at the random glass of juice she had been handed by the mother of the bride. She was entirely and utterly bored out of her mind, so much to even say it was more boring to be sat alone when she was working with Lexa in her home. She swirled the exotic straw around in patterns.

Lexa was off greeting somebody or other. As it turned out, she was rather a thriving social butterfly once she was pushed out of her comfort zone. She was busy talking to a couple who seemed quite familiar. Especially the man. Clarke narrowed her eyes and stared intently until it finally clicked. He was the man from the videos on Lexa's laptop. Lincoln.

He seemed to hand Lexa a drink that was identical to her the one that sat in front of Clarke, only for the brunette to give him a pointed look as if to say "I can't move my arms you idiot". He just laughed nervously and placed it on the table behind him.

"Worst thing she ever did giving up that girl you know" Came a gravelly voice from right next to her. She jumped, not expecting a voice to be so close to her so suddenly "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare ya. I'm Costia's mom"

"I'm... Clarke" She said, shaking the woman's extended hand

"Well Clarke, are you Lexa's new girlfriend or something?" She said boldly, sliding a cigarette between her lips and snapping her lighter.

"Me?" Clarke almost exclaimed "No! No of course not. I'm just her carer."

"Well, Clarke, I have to tell you. That woman over there, wheelchair or not, is an outstanding being she is. My Costia made the worst mistake marrying this... Ontari."

"You think so?" Clarke asked, intrigued.

"I know so" Costia's mother said with a pointed finger "I see the way you're looking at the girl. She's a little something more, even if you can't tell it. Let me tell you something. Life's too short to wait for it. Stop giving a shit."

"I..." before Clarke could even respond the woman burst out again

"My god, these cocktails are just bloody amazing though" She exclaimed "I'm going to be tiddled before they even have their dance"

Clarke froze, looking down at the drink. She had drank at least three of them out of boredom alone

"Wait... these are alcoholic?"

The woman laughed "you're at a wedding dear. Everything's alcoholic"

She looked up, suddenly realising why everything felt so... buzzy

"Shhhhiii-"


End file.
